In kindergarten, Minnie was chubby and that made her cute. That also made her a healthy baby. In the 2nd grade, Minnie noticed the natural rolls of her thinner bestie, Tia. She had multiple small rolls when she sat. She also noticed her own body. She had 2 rolls which were much bigger, they stuck out. In the 4th grade, Minnie and Tia couldn’t share clothes anymore. Tia could wear Minnie’s clothes, but Minnie barely fit into Tia’s t-shirts, let alone her pants. At this point, Minnie wasn’t ashamed or even felt there was anything ‘wrong’ with her body. She was just curious of the various different shapes and sizes she saw all around. She knew her body was bigger, but not necessarily ‘bad’. In the 6th grade, she was well aware that she was the 3rd heaviest kid in school. She was aware of her body, again, not really conscious about it. The 8th grade school play’s auditions were when Minnie’s thoughts about her body began changing. She started understanding the difference between reactions to her body vs Tia’s body. When it was time to audition for the school’s play, Minnie was very excited. She’d always loved acting and dancing + she was really good at it! She thought this would be her time to shine. Her teachers exchanged uncomfortable glances when they finally announced who got the role, it was…Tia. Instead of any role in the play, she was assigned to be a stagehand. That’s when she finally gave in to her feelings and noticed the distinction between fat and thin. Why did the way her body look limit her from doing the things she loved, the things she was good at? She went home, swallowed her tears with Dairy Milks and 5-stars and thought, these are my only friends. She found comfort in food. And now, at 25, she still does the same. Whenever she feels left out like the 14-year old Minnie did, she swallows her discomfort with cupcakes.
Have you ever felt this way?
Have you let your relationship with yourself start to determine your relationship with others? Your confidence around boys? Made you question how others perceived you? Does your relationship with yourself affect your relationship with your partner, colleagues and family?
How we view ourselves has a direct impact on how we manage and go through a lot of relationships across life. Let me help you make your relationship with yourself stronger so you can make the other relationships in your life stronger.